Worst Jokes Ever
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
Hi, my name is Bob.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts make a right.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
What did the Olympic Swimmer call his son?
Paul.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
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