Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.

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  • My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.

    At least now I can have his phone he left.

    I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

    A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.

    A gay man offers him a drink.

    The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.

    "That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."

    The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.

    Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.

    They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"

    He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."

    So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"

    Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

    When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."

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  • A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

    What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?

    Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...

    Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?

    They both have cum in it.

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  • Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    She had no arms.

    Why couldn't she get up?

    She had no friends.

    Knock Knock (Who's there?)

    Not Sally...

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  • My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.