Worst Jokes Ever
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.
Go commit neck rope.
Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.