Worst Jokes Ever
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
How do you make Indians explode? Press the red button.
Steven Hawking was going to jerk off, nope. 😂
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
Mankind is made of 2 words: Mank and ind.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.