Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
Well, he’s all right now!
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
Tyson?
Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Hmmm.
Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).
What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
What is the reason for the first time since I've seen a lot to be desired in the morning? To you, eat ass...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
Beans
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.