Worst Jokes Ever
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
An Irishman walked past a bar.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
The morbid jokes on this site.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Coz she had no arms, bants!
Where do whales get weighed?
The whaleway station.
Bants ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahashahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"