Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁