Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Stan JoJo Siwa.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
because they'll never make it home.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.
Why can't two Asians have a white baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
Okay, so basically I'm monky.
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
My life, your life, and your sister is a slut.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet all the koalifications!
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.