Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
Have you ever had African water??
Neither have they.
Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
I'm fucking retarded.
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
