Worst Jokes Ever
I was going to kill myself, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Q: How do you get 10 babies in a trashcan?
A: With a blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."
I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”
He responded with, “The cat is dead.”
She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”
“She’s playing on the roof.”
This site.
Elephant
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD
PS free sex at my name
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.