Worst Jokes Ever
Guns control.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Hello friken world shitytytytytytyt.
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
No no no no no no!
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
Wow, why so many of the same joke?
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don't have the Ferrari.
What's long, black, and sticky?
A stick.
What's green and smells like ham?
Kermit the frog's fingers.
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.