What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?
I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!
Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.
They never get old.
