Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!

Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.

What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.

What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?

Nothing, he had no friends.

What did the chicken say to the turkey?

Nothing, he chickened out!

Why do we name hurricanes?

To keep an eye on them.

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky.

Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?

Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

Butthole.

Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

Fuck burger.

Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."

Why do toy bears have small eyes?

Because they were made in China.

Cancer.

Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.