Worst Jokes Ever
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)
What did the two oceans say to each other?
Nothing. They just waved.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
Stairs.
Stephen Hawking can't stand stairs.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
My dad hits me :(
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.