Worst Jokes Ever
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
What is black and white and red all over?
... a newspaper!
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.