Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
My ex-wife still misses me...
BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.