Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Wat?
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.