Worst Jokes Ever
Levi and Andrew are fat.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy! 😅
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!