Worst Jokes Ever
AIDS?
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Why do animals hate playing card games with foxes?
They’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Ur mom gay.
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!
This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.