Worst Jokes Ever
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to fuck you.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
Why is Cinderella white?
Because she is superior.
What is the real name of Canada?
Punjabistan
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
My dignity to live.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
A gay couple actually goes to heaven. Turns out Jesus was a hypocrite.