Worst Jokes Ever
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.