Worst Jokes Ever
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
Mÿ pp.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
What do you call a PEIS?
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"