Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!

What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.

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  • When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

    Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!

    Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.

    Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!

    A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,

    "I will serve you, but don't start anything!"