Worst Jokes Ever
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
Dfhbbfd.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
Why did the Unicorns become extinct?
Because unicorns are gay! :|
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"
And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."
Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"
And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."
And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
Pen15
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.