Worst Jokes Ever
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
Quiz: Turn what for what?
A joke.
Suck my butts, queer.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw