Worst Jokes Ever
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.
"Your mom gay.exe" has started working.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
What do you call James, James?
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"
Why is Joe cool?
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
Lung story short... ahqhahahah!
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.