Worst Jokes Ever

When do you take a cow to the movies?

On a mooo-vie!

My mom is gay.

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

Let's taco about something.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.

What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

Oofer.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

Can a box match? No, but a tin can.

I wanna die.

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.

Two nuns in a bath.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

¿Hola, quién es?