Worst Jokes Ever
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
Life.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
Papyrus: Sans, your jokes are bad!
Sans: I don’t care; I got thick skin.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
Do you like Mirah?
Mirah-t nuts.
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD