Worst Jokes Ever
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
ABBaS.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it was too TEAR-ABLE. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(