Worst Jokes Ever

What is black and white?

Probably Mexican history.

What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.

I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.

One day a cow ate a fish.

What came out the other side?

A dead fish.

If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.

What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!

I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.

A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."

"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"

"We're going with Trevor."

"Ok, what if it's a girl?"

"Then we'll have an abortion."

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

What did the pirate say to Argon?

Ar!

I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.

Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.

Where did Johnny go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

What is yellow but can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.

What time is it? It's time for lunch.

*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*

What did the cow say to your mom?

Hello.

If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."