Worst Jokes Ever
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
I just shed my pants.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
Nick sucks dick.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!