Worst Jokes Ever
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
It's hard to predict the future,
especially before it happens.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.