Worst Jokes Ever
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.
Peter: "Hi Jack."
Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"
Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"
Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"
Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."
F66666666666666666666666666
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
*insert pun here*
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.