Worst Jokes Ever
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
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"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
I made a website for orphans, but it didn't have a home page.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Howard Stern rules, b*tches!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.