Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.

When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.

How are babies and the elderly similar?

They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

9/11 is like genders.

There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

Oh wait.

You fool!

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.