Worst Jokes Ever

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

What did the bee say to the other bee?

Moo.

What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?

They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.

Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.

Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.

Chuck Norris told those three men how to climb Trump's wall.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 80 people.

Then it exploded.

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.

Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.

Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.

LAMO.

Why did the orphan cross the ride?

I forgot.

My life.

Tell me when you get it.

First human comes.

Sans: That was pun intended.

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

So I was walking.

*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."

Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.

Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.