The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
Ha GAY
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
Which Pokemon listens to Aha?
Takemeon.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
FUCK OFF GULLER
Dick muncher.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
