Worst Jokes Ever

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

Oh wait.

You fool!

I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

What is the difference between babies and dogs?

I don't eat dog parts.

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.

gdqvgj

I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.

What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?

A zom-BEE.

What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"