There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Why do people laugh at mountains?
Because they're HILLarious!
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
what do you call my dick , A. a monster
Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9.
SEX
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
