Whats the difference between a baby and a pizza? One dose not crow when you put it in an oven
The Octopus joke! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can never find home.
Ahh, the coronavirus!
A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.
My dad just comes and goes.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
Look at the bright side!
The worst is behind us.
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
Why can Lohan’s play baseball bc they can’t find home
why cant orphans play baseball? because they can make a home run
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
