Worst Jokes Ever

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

What’s 2 Mexicans playing basketball called?

"Juan on Juan."

Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?

A: One uses one nail to hang.

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

Poop fell off the earth.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he had no BODY to go with.

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?

He was stuffed.

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?

Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?

An orange tree! :>

There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?

They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.

Medusa makes men hard.