Worst Jokes Ever
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
When you realize the person reading this is a clown.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."