Worst Jokes Ever
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
Why did the skeleton have no friends?
He was a boner!
Heheheh!
Ah, see ya soon kiddo.
I'm going on break.
I'll give you some fried snow later!
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
My kid had an accident.