I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
He jizzes canned cheese.
Why can’t Orphans pick up their phone after school...? Because they need their parents to go pick it up
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
Heyyyyyy!
why did the baby cross the road? because he wanted to die
