Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.
My mom told me that drugs are my enemies... But Jesus said to love my enemies.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
What did one ghost say to another ghost?
"You're boo-tiful!"
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry, it's just a joke."
Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?
Because he knew he wasn't hot!
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.