Worst Jokes Ever
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
What is white and sticky?
Glue.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.