Worst Jokes Ever
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.