How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
What’s Kobe Bryant’s favorite rapper? NLE Choppa.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?
A selfie.
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
Hi dude!
So Steven Hawking wake into a bar... Just kidding
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call DADDY😩
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.
