Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
"Hey babe!"
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw them down the stairs and see what noise they make! WA WA WAAAAAAAAAAAA!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...