Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
some kid with parents "knock knock" "orphan'' whose there? some kid with parents "not your parents"
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
What is a gay school boy's favorite grade?
D+.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?
Travis Spick-le.
What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?
Re-tarter sauce.
