Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought you were his brother.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Girl: I like girls.
Dad: Ok?
Girl 2: I like girls too.
Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!
Boy: I do.
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.
If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.
How do homeless people punish their children?
What are their children going to do? Go to their room?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
Orphans are cool.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
