Worst Jokes Ever
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."