Worst Jokes Ever
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
1+1=3, just add 9 months.
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
Your forehead is so big it can't even fit in the garage!
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
I make gay jokes because I am a gay joke.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"