Worst Jokes Ever

Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.

Yo momma so fat, she farts out volcanoes.

Helen Keller.

I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.

He hugged me!

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

I meant because.

Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

'Cause they just wash up onshore.

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

An orphan goes to a doctor.

Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."

Orphan: "But why?"

Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."

What kind of tree can you High-Five?

A palm tree.

What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?

Person 1: Somebody farted.

Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.

What’s an emo called Anna?

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.