Worst Jokes Ever
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
My great great grandfather killed Hitler😌
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu? Pikachu, I choose you!
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
Let's rock and roll!
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?
Because I burnt it down!
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!