What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
Worst Jokes Ever
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.
Alles tut weh.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
